What A Typical Day Looks Like

Our Nini (Noelle) has now reached 11 weeks. This morning she had her two month physical with Annie (our physician) and she's 100% healthy and wonderful. Great news! Nothing makes me happier than hearing that baby is healthy- I would absolutely die if anything happened to her. Anyways, I talked to a friend this week who of course I haven't spoken to until before the baby was born (I'm now the worst friend ever) and she asked me point blank, "what do you do all day now?". Before I got pregnant I had ZERO friends with kids so I figured this question would come up eventually. So, to rid you of all suspense, here is what I DO all day:

Usually I try to leave the house at least three times a week with baby. This means meeting up with a moms group, practicing outings at the grocery store, taking a walk in the park etc. This does not always happen, especially if the weather doesn't allow for it. Since we have decided to have only one car, my husband wakes up early, showers, gets dressed then wakes me to get ready and takes care of the baby while I shower, get dressed, juice some fruits and veggies and make him some coffee and toast. Usually my Mom (who is staying with us for a while) will take the baby while I take him into work and then drive back to our house. In between all of this we clean and refill 6 bottles with breast milk for the baby to eat throughout the day. We use a bottle warmer when she looks like she's starting to wake up which is when she'll want to eat. By the time I get back my Mom is usually downstairs with baby making herself coffee and baby is wide awake. I usually run upstairs and tidy up our bedroom which becomes a war zone overnight easily. Then I'll start a load of diapers in the laundry.

Then I'll take baby and we'll go out somewhere or start our afternoon routine. I turn on Pandora on my favorite stations and we dance (my only source of exercise right now). Usually it's Daft Punk or Lady Gaga but I get a good dance beat going and try to work up a sweat. Then we'll do tummy time and she'll just lay on the bed with me over her and talk, talk, talk! She loves to talk and coo and make the funniest sounds. I always try to respond honestly. After that I'll usually give her a bit more milk from her bottle and we head downstairs. I put her in her rock 'n play in the kitchen and she watches me make my lunch which is usually leftovers from dinner heated up and put in a corn tortilla. After that we'll go into the living room and she'll watch me eat (fast). I throw my dishes into some soapy water, grab another bottle and head upstairs- she's surely ready for a nap by now. I give her the rest of her bottle and put her on her side on a pillow on my stretched out legs. Usually I'll give her her pacifier to help her doze off and I put her in her swing or snuggle nest. She usually sleeps for about an 1-3 hours while I start another load of laundry, fold the diapers and then nap with her. When she wakes up she's sure to be hungry so I have a bottle warmed and ready to feed her & when it's about half empty I'll change her diaper again. Sometimes she goes back to sleep, sometimes she wants to play more. By now it's around 4-5pm, I put down the baby einstein play mat which she loves, or we bounce on my yoga ball for a while but mostly she just wants to talk. Every other day I give her a bath in the sink or in the tub with me! I love to bathe with her because she loves to swim! She kicks her feet and smiles and kicks off the walls of the tub. She usually wants to take another nap after a warm bath.

By this time my husband usually gets home or I go to pick him up while my mom takes baby. When we get home he walks the dog & takes the baby so I can go downstairs to make dinner. The perks to only bottle feeding breast milk are that Daddy can take over! I make up some dinner and we eat it upstairs in bed while watching a movie. It's nice and we get to relax together with baby. She sits in our laps if she's awake and watches us eat. Then I go run errands at Target or Whole Foods (if needed) and we start her bedtime routine around 9pm. She eats a whole bottle, and falls asleep. We go to sleep immediately and her wake up times in the night are 1am, 4am and 7am. Jeremy takes the 1am, I take the 4am and he takes the 7am when he wakes up. Then the whole thing starts again! I usually do most of my grocery shopping on the weekends and sometimes my mom takes her just for the heck of it which is SOOOO nice. My day has most definitely changed- I seriously took my freedom for granted while I was pregnant haha. It's tough work but it's also really fun and she's a really easy baby. She never cries for very long- her needs are really easy- she's happy as long as she's fed and not bored. She doesn't get reflux or gas very often and she's just really happy and smily. The only problem is that she keeps growing! She's 25" long now and 12.5 lbs. - she's very long and lean which is surprising because she's got the chubbiest little cheeks and legs! Ah, listen to me, I am a damn proud mama.

So, that's my life right now. Haha! Sounds weird but I'm actually loving it. Feeling very empowered and very much like a natural mom. I do wish I had more time for skating, sewing and creativity in general but I know that'll come back as she gets bigger.

What was/is your life like with baby if you've got kids? What's a typical day look like for you?

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I Have To Give My Baby Formula Sometimes and It Turns Out That's Ok

People mean well when they tell you "formula is rocket fuel". It's really easy to misinterpret this, I know that I did. When I got pregnant I knew nothing about breastfeeding or formula. I know that my mom breastfed me until she went back to work (about 6 months) and then she fed me formula. I figured this was the norm, just like I figured that giving birth in a hospital was the norm... so why stray? Well, I obviously learned a lot during the pregnancy and ended up going with a natural birth at home and of course that led to a strong want to exclusively breastfeed. Attachment parenting feels right to me and it's really important to go with your instincts when it comes to your baby. During discussions with other natural birth Moms and Dads, it's been thrown around over and over again that formula is the devil and just wrong to give to your baby. I nodded and agreed assuming that I would never need formula, I'm gonna be a breastfeeding mom. This scenario reoccured several times during my pregnancy and little did I know that every time I said it, I was slowly reinforcing the insecurities that would inevitably occur when my milk never came in. It's all well-meaning but I've learned that it's not explained properly at all. Moms and doctors are constantly saying that formula is bad and breastfeeding is good, when what they should be saying is that breastfeeding should be your first choice, supplementing with donated milk should be your second and formula should simply be a last resort. This would really clear up a whole mess of anxiety and depression that occurred when I failed to produce my own milk for my baby. I was SO angry at my body for betraying me. I swore that every time my baby cried it was because I was letting her down (so not true). The first time we gave her formula was completely bittersweet. I was SO happy she was eating (and so was she) but so angry that it wasn't at my breast from my supply.

Breastfeeding is making a comeback, did you know that!? How cool is that? Basically, for the last 50 years formula has taken over as the first choice of new parents. Formula companies have even made claims that formula is just as good if not better than breast milk (wtf). Well, we all know that this is not even kind of true. Because formula has taken over for so long and women are learning better- a lot of women preach the evils of formula. This message is meant for women who don't know that breast feeding is a much better choice. But what about the women who do know better and can't breastfeed for whatever reason? I mean, REALLY can't breast feed. Some moms have their babies, attempt breastfeeding on day one and if baby doesn't latch, they immediately give up. This is easy because usually you're in a hospital and you've got a nurse saying "we can call in the lactation specialist if you want, but I've got formula right here....". Well, what are mothers who don't know any better gonna do? First, moms make the mistake that if baby doesn't latch and drink then the baby will starve. The truth is that baby has some reserves. Baby wont die if you dont feed him/her immediately. You have enough time to call in a lactation specialist and really work on that latch. They can usually pinpoint the reason immediately and offer solutions. Sometimes the babies introduction into the world is part of the reason why breastfeeding is hard. C-sections, however necessary can throw off this biological want to breast feed for babies, but not always. Sometimes C-sections and epidurals don't throw anything off but the chance is much higher. Either way, it's important you do whatever you can to encourage baby to breast feed if you've got the supply. Now, sometimes you don't get the supply. I have a hormonal imbalance called PCOS that means I probably should've never gotten pregnant, avoided a miscarriage and had her with no complications. It also means that my milk would not come in naturally and easily. I didn't know I had this imbalance until after I had her. Here is my breast feeding story. I believe that after day 3-4, if that milk doesn't come in- that's just the beginning of the fight! First, I started pumping like a crazy woman. I rented a medela symphony hospital grade pump and used that thing every 2 hours like clockwork. At the urging of my lactation specialist I took Motherlovewhich includes goats rue, fenugreek, blessed thistle, nettle and fennel; these are all herbs used for milk promotion. I also took alfalfa and moringa. Pumping plus the herbal supplements was my first attempt at getting that milk supply in. Unfortunately, it did nothing. If these things don't work there are prescriptions you can try too: Reglan and the compound, Domperidone.

The point is that there are a lot of things to try and they're all worth the effort. But while you're doing all of these things, formula is an ok supplement. It's more than ok: we're lucky we live in a country where the water is clean enough that we can make formula for our babies. If you're lucky enough to have a network of caring moms (like I do here in Nashville), your second choice can be doner milk! Another mama's milk is a great choice. From the beginning of baby making the village mothers fed all of the babies, not just their own. It's not weird or gross. I would say just make a good judgement call: ask if she's taking any drugs, legal or illegal.

The hardest part, I thought, of giving baby formula was that I wanted her to have the best. I learned while I was pregnant that babies who are formula fed have more health issues and a lower IQ. I don't want my baby to struggle in school because I couldn't produce milk. I talked to my Dr. about this and she brought up a great point. Those tests really are relative! Moms who don't consider breast feeding are usually uneducated women who don't know any better! Well, babies raised by uneducated moms usually have lower IQ's for whatever reasons. These babies often have health issues because their mothers just aren't as aware of all of the preventative care to take. They're not bad moms, they just know very limited amounts of information and don't really question what they're told. So it would make sense that when these statistics were taken the results would be what they are. Is it the formula or the women who generally use formula? Just something to think about...

Another amazing alternative to breastfeeding or while you're working to get your milk in is this great little device called the LactAidtrainer system. You fill up a small bag with doner milk or formula or your pumped milk, hang the bag from your neck and tape a tiny little tube with the end at your nipple and when baby latches and sucks, she gets fed at your breast! I love this because I love the experience of bonding with her. I love watching her at my breast and I love being skin to skin with her. She prefers this method but will take a bottle under fire.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is be careful what you say about breastfeeding. While preaching the evils of formula is only well-meaning (of course)- it can easily throw off a mom who genuinely cannot breastfeed and make her feel like the biggest disappointment walking the earth. Instead, consider saying that breastfeeding is the ideal choice! Be supportive of moms who cannot produce and if you can, donate milk! So far, I've had 3 wonderful women offer their milk and although I've never been able to supply enough for her she's consumed about 75% breast milk and 25% formula since birth! That's amazing to me and I am eternally grateful to these women. I'm still working to get more and more milk in- but I realize now that what's important is that I do my best. That I explore all options and that it's important to ALWAYS question what you're told. Formula companies make a killing off of people who just don't know any better... ALWAYS question especially when there's millions of dollars involved lol. Thank you for reading this. I hope your breastfeeding journey is amazing no matter what and remember what's important is that you show baby your love however you can.

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Noelle Snow: A Winter, Water Birth Story

Since we found out we were pregnant, we’ve been planning a home water birth- well, we got what we wanted! Noelle Snow Rivera came into the world on January 5, 2013 at 1:39pm. She weighed 8 lbs 6oz- she has perfect coloring, beautifully shaped head, blue/grey eyes. Here is my labor and her birthing story:

I started to feel strange cramping sensations after I picked my husband up from work on Friday night. I was approximately 42 weeks pregnant at that point so my Mom drove with me everywhere so I wouldn’t get stranded alone. My husband and I had dinner plans with some friends in midtown and we had about an hour to kill before we met up. We were walking around and the cramps got more and more intense- having had twice thought I was going into labor I was determined to ignore the symptoms until I felt them much stronger. We met up with our friends for dinner and the cramps got more intense! We took our amazing food to-go, got in the car and went home so I could rest.

About 10 minutes after we got home I was out of early labor and into early active labor. About an hour after that I was in transition. We called the midwife and doula and they both showed up about an hour later. I was active labor from about 10pm until 7am the next morning. This is not the same for every woman, but for me, the pain was excruciating. Contractions lasted about 2 minutes with about a minute in between for 9 hours. By the end of my transition I was exhausted, even while trying to sleep in between. Jeremy slept next to my tub and woke up with every contraction. We had no clocks or sense of time and only knew it was morning by the light coming through the blackout curtains. I made a medium amount of noise. It was truly a chore keeping the tub full of hot water.

I wanted complete silence, from everyone. I didn’t want to be told what to do or bothered at all. The only touch I wanted was my husband in front of me. I wanted total darkness the whole time. I wanted to be able to listen to my body and not be distracted. Concentration was really important throughout the whole labor.

At around 8am my midwife wanted to check my progress. I was terrified she was going to tell me that I’d been in transition all night and I was still only 4-6cm dilated. Luckily, I was at 8 and 9 was on it’s way. I did a lot of walking after that- got out of the tub and did my contractions leaning on high furniture. This really got things moving. By 11am I was ready to go downstairs and start pushing. I had the incredible urge that I completely understand now and totally hated. I pushed for about three hours- completely soberly. I had no sense of time and had lost all faith in my abilities to it at that point. By the end I decided that I was going to get her out if it killed me and I literally thought it would kill me. The very last push left me on all fours in the tub, ready to pass out. The midwife pulled her out from under me and put her on my back. Jeremy cried his eyes out looking at her. I stared at the water and was told not to move because I had a baby on my back. She didn’t cry for a minute. I couldn’t see or hear her and I was about to pass out.

For what seemed like an eternity I stared at the water & then Sheryl told me to turn over and meet my baby! We sat there skin to skin until the tub got too cold to stay in. Seeing her for the first time was incredible- Jeremy just sat there with his mouth open- and couldn’t stop saying how beautiful she is. I just stared at her, trying to keep my eyes open and kept kissing her head. I barely bled after that until after the placenta was delivered- Jeremy cut the babies chord after it turned white.

My midwife asked how I was feeling and if I wanted to get out of the tub, thinking that getting out of a tub was nothing at this point, I leaned on the edge of it to move my body upwards and completely passed out. I blacked out for about 90 seconds and woke up on the floor- they had lifted me out of the warm tub and I was on the floor, on my stomach, unable to move. I hadn’t slept for 40 hours, I’d thrown up all food, I was hydrated luckily but had lost a lot of blood with the placenta. Sheryl immediately checked my blood loss & blood pressure. Danielle, the assistant, monitored my pulse and they decided I was just exhausted. Daddy took over the skin on skin contact and she stayed with him until I could open my eyes again.

Grandma came in and the midwife asked if she was ready to meet her granddaughter. My Mom cried like a baby- for a long time and just looked at her. I can honestly say she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Absolutely perfect and so wide eyed and alert at such a young age. They examined her health and she was declared practically perfect in every way. While I was on the floor, we figured out a way to attach baby and start breastfeeding. She latched on immediately and took in a really good meal that first night. I stayed on the floor until about 9pm that night and Danielle stayed with me until I could get up and get into bed. She told me I was going to bleed for days but it would slow down a lot. I had to crawl up the stairs into my bed and almost passed out from attempting it.

Since then we’ve told family and friends she’s arrived and taken some pictures. Baby is doing great and feeding really well. She’s not very fussy- she slept through the night and we woke up and fed her around 2am. She’s absolutely perfect. It’s going to take a couple of days for me to eat, sleep and recover but I’ve got Jeremy and my Mom here to help me through. I wrote this very quickly, I just wanted to get it down while the memory is still fresh. But here is my labor story.

I am so proud of myself for following through with this. Our midwife said the baby didn’t go into distress once and that I brought her into the world the most gentle and perfect way possible, also, I didn’t tear at all! I experienced everything and while I’d never take what happened back, I certainly don’t think I could ever do it again. I do feel very empowered, I also feel very traumatized. Jeremy and I are absorbing a lot of what happened still. Would I recommend this to everyone? I don’t know. There’s something amazing about getting through it- but something terrifying about it too. I’m still piecing it together in my head while trying to physically heal. That’s all for now- I’ll update more and Jeremy wanted to write the birthing story from his perspective. But she’s here and I couldn’t feel more gushy about the whole thing. She’s absolutely perfect and we did it!

Did you write a birthing story or have a water birth? I'd love to read about it!

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